Posts (page 2)
I am not trying to be flippant, honestly.
I am simply asking for, if you have a moment, to send good thoughts towards Wisconsin.
My Mom just called. My grandpa (her dad) had a heart attack tonight. They flew him from our dinky little hospital to one in Milwaukee. That's all she knows so far.
Send out positive thoughts to my grandpa, please. He's a big, tough guy (always has been), and I don't...can't...believe that he isn't going to pull through this.
That being said, there's no way I'm going to risk his life by not asking.
Thank you. From the bottom of my heart.
Rose
While I do have a number of days I am interested in celebrating, scroll down and check out May 30!
And here are some of the weekly observances:
National Fairy Godmother Week (1-7)
Be Kind to Animals Week (1-7)
Flexible Work Arrangement Week (4-10)
Goodwill Industries Week (4-10)
National Anxiety and Depression Awareness Week (4-10)
National Family Week (4-10)
National Hug Holiday Week (4-10)
National Pet Week (4-10)
Reading is Fun Week (4-10)
Astronomy Week (5-10)
National Wildflower Week (5-11)
Update Your References Week (5-9)
National Nurses Week (6-12)
Teacher Appreciation Week (6-12)
National Police Week (11-17)
National Stuttering Awareness Week (12-18)
Bread Week (18-24)
National Dog Bite Prevention Week (18-24)
National Backyard Games Week (19-26) (Kick the Can, anyone?)
Work At Home Moms Week (19-25)
Old Time Piano Playing Week (23-26)
Cover the Uninsured Week (24-31)
May, Day-by-Day
5/1
World Asthma Day
Beltaine
Frequent Flyer Day
Lei Day
May Day
Mother Goose Day
National Day of Reason
School Principal’s Day
Stepmother’s Day
5/2
No Pants Day
Roberts Rule of Order Day
3
Cartoonists Day
Dandelion Day
Kentucky Derby
Lumpy Rug Day
National Anxiety Disorders Screening Day
National Day to Prevent Teenage Pregnancy Day
National Homebrew Day
4
Respect for Chickens Day
5
Childhood Stroke Awareness Day
Cinco de Mayo
Melanoma Day
6
Childhood Depression Awareness Day
National Teacher Day
No Diet Day
No Homework Day
Nurses Day
7
Great American Grump Out
National School Nurse Day
8
No Socks Day
V.E. Day
9
Child Care Provider Day
10
Astronomy Day
Birthmother’s Day
Lupus Day
Windmill Day
11
Mother’s Day
12
Limerick Day
Native American Rights Day
National Nutty Fudge Day
13
National Third Shift/Night Shift Workers Day
14
Receptionists Day
Root Canal Appreciation Day
15
National Chocolate Chip Day
Nylon Stockings Day
16
National Bike to Work Day
National Pizza Party Day
National Sea Monkey Day
17
Armed Forces Day
Babysitter Safety Day
18
Celebrate Your Elected Officials Day
International Museums Day
Visit Your Relatives Day
Whistler’s Mother Day
20
Eliza Doolittle Day
Weights and Measures Day
21
National Employee Health and Fitness Day
I Need a Patch for That Day
National Waitstaff Day
22
National Maritime Day
23
National Taffy Day
24
Brother’s Day
International Jazz Day
Julia Pierpoint Day
Tiara Day
25
National Missing Children’s Day
National Tap Dance Day
Neighbor Day
Indianapolis 500
Nerd/Geek Pride Day
Towel Day
26
Memorial Day
28
National Senior Health and Fitness Day
Slugs Return from Capistrano Day
30
Hug Your Cat Day
Loomis Day
31
World No-Tobacco Day
And all the days after.
The Month of May is:
ALS Awareness Month (Lou Gehrig’s Disease)
Asian Pacific American Heritage Month
Awareness of Medical Orphans Month (What is a medical orphan?)
Better Hearing and Speech Month
Borderline Personality Disorder Month
Brain Tumor Awareness Month
Family Wellness Month
Fibromyalgia Education and Awareness Month
Get Caught Reading Month
Gifts from the Garden Month
Go Fetch! Food Drive for Homeless Animals Month
Haitian Heritage Month
Heal the Children Month
Healthy Vision Month
Huntington’s Disease Awareness Month
International Audit Month (EWWWWW!!!!)
International Victorious Woman Month
Jewish-American Heritage Month
Latino Books Month
Motorcycle Safety Month
National Allergy/Asthma Awareness Month
National Arthritis Month
National Barbeque Month (YUM!)
National Bike Month
National Correct Posture Month (I'm going to work on mine!)
National Egg Month
National Foster Care Month
National Good Car Keeping Month
National Hamburger Month (Sign me up!)
National Hepatitis Awareness Month
World Lyme Disease Awareness Month
National Medication Month
National Military Appreciation Month
National Moving Month
National Older Americans Month
National Osteoporosis Prevention Month (Drink your milk!)
National Photo Month
National Physical Fitness and Sports Month
National Salad Month (Do I gotta?)
National Salsa Month (Pass the chips)
National Smile Month
National Stroke Awareness Month
National Revise Your Work Schedule Month
National Vinegar Month (Why?)
Navajo Code Talkers Month (Cool)
Personal History Month
Sweet Vidalia Onions Month (YES!!!)
Teen Self-Esteem Month
Tennis Month
Tay-Sachs and Canavan Diseases Month
Ultra-Violent Awareness Month (Can't see it, but it's there!)
Women’s Health Care Month
Young Achievers Month
National Family Month
I'm almost halfway through the seven deadly sins! And I just started working on this project 90 minutes ago!
By rights, I should be calling a friend or family member to unload on them. I might be just a little too proud to admit that I need a shoulder to cry on.
Oh! Oh! Pride! That just leaves wrath, greed, and lust.
I might be able to work my way up to wrath. Greed and lust...hmmm. That'll take some thinking.
In all seriousness, though, I'm going to unload on this poor, poor blog. Beware all you who may look here.
The husband and I got pregnant in February.
I miscarried seven weeks later.
It's not a big deal. In fact, I thought I was okay with the whole thing. After about six hours of misery, of the emotional type, both the husband and I were able to look at the situation, shrug our shoulders and say "Well, better luck next time." We're young and had barely been trying to get pregnant. It's not as though we'd been working really hard at the whole thing, nor was a I pregnant for very long. It wasn't a true pregnancy (according to the rule of thumb my doctor mentioned today) in the sense that there was never a fetal heartbeat. No heartbeat=No pregnancy.
So there you are.
I had a call from my (younger) cousin today. She and her husband are pregnant - 8 weeks along, had the first ultrasound with pictures, fetal heartbeat of 171 beats per minute, could see things like the umbilical cord, arm buds, head, etc.
I am happy for her and her husband. I really am. I know that they started trying about the same time that we did, and I know that everyone in the family is ecstatic about the baby. And why not? Babies are wonderful things.
Do you know how often I have to stop and remind myself that motherhood is not a competition?
I'm so bound up with envy for her situation, and I feel awful about it. I was okay with the fact that I miscarried, but dammit, I wanted to be next! There is a big part of me that feels like when (if) the husband and I do manage to procreate that the whole thing will be no big deal for my family. Something like "Oh, you're going to have a baby. So what? Your brother did that (well, his wife did, anyway), and then your cousin did. That's not so special."
Where the hell is this ugly competitiveness coming from? I won't be the first nor the last woman to have a child, and there was never a thought in my mind - as we talked about choosing to become parents - of "I'll become a mother and that I'll really BE someone." That's ridiculous. I can see how ridiculous that is. And yet...
Envy.
And here I sit, sobbing over her good fortune - and feeling like a complete heel.
I've consumed more cookies than are good for me (my stomach says so...gurgle, gurgle): Gluttony.
I've decided that I don't want to workout tonight because I'm just too miserable: Sloth.
I feel incredibly low, but I won't call any of my friends and family because, dammit, I've repeated over and over that not being pregnant isn't a big deal. I'm okay with it. I am okay with it. These things happen, and I am okay. To call any of them up now and whine about it...well, it just isn't going to happen.
Pride.
Simultaneously, the worst and the best thing was the choice I made to not tell my cousin, as she was bubbling over with joy, that I miscarried three weeks ago.
It's the worst because I do want her to be aware...part of me wants to be able to talk about what little pregnancy I had (very little, but there were some symptoms), another part of me wants her to...not to edit herself because of my experience (which isn't any big deal, right?), but just to be aware that I might feel envious, even as I wish her joy.
It's the best, because at least I didn't give into my selfish tendancies and rain on her parade. Now that would have been almost unforgiveable.
God, I wish my husband were home.
I wish that stupid little imp in my head would stop joking about how this is going to make me a better, more patient person. I really don't think that that's possible. It's pretty obvious that I'm a heartless, selfish beast who only thinks of myself...how things affect me.
No, no...that's the depression talking. I'm a decent person who happens to be human, and therefore flawed.
Dammit. I hate the whole world and wish I could throw breakable items against the wall. I think the smash would be most satisfying.
I am not trained in any branch of social work or mental health services. I do, however, work for a mental health organization, and this organization specifically serves populations that have government health care (MediCal, specifically).
Not having any training in social work and etc, it is very easy for me to judge people quite harshly (rather than leaping to a completely different conclusion like - "Maybe he/she suffers from Tourrettes").
I splurged today on a caffeinated beverage. As I was in the convenience store around the corner from where I work, a woman came in and was muttering quite loudly "I'm gonna get those Jewish pigs at (name of my company). I'm gonna get those Jewish pigs at (name of my company)." Pause. "I'm gonna get those Jewish pigs...." And so on.
Now, I'm assuming that she is a client of ours. That leads to a further assumption that she is suffering from some kind of mental illness - I suppose it can be anything from anger issues to schizophrenia. What do I know?
What I do know is that I had a very visceral reaction to her comments. Even knowing that she is probably suffering from some kind of mental illness, I couldn't help thinking "What a horrible woman. What an ignorant, ugly-minded woman."
It's odd, I even felt a great deal of pity (which I'm sure would not be appreciated) for everyone with Jewish roots - whether they're practicing or not.
I know enough of European and American history to know that Jews have been popular scapegoats for centuries. (Of course, they are not the only population that has been used in this manner...but that's not my point right now.)
I am living in the United States in the year 2008. I know that, being human, we are all far from perfect. We also all have our own opinions. There are many people that I don't agree with. There are many politicians and people in the public eye towards whom I enjoy a healthy dislike. I am certainly prejudiced against these people.
It's one thing to dislike an individual.
It's a completely different thing to hate an entire group. And that prejudice is especially horrible when that hate is based on a tradition of fear and ignorance rather than actual knowledge of what the individuals who make up that group are like.
<climbs down off of soapbox>
4/1 - April Fool's Day, National Fun at Work Day, Sorry Charlie Day, and St. Stupid Day
4/2 - Kick Butts Day, National Day of Hope
4/3 - Pony Express Day, Tweed Day
4/4 - Victims of Violence Holy Day, World Rat Day
4/5 - National Love Our Children Day, Tangible Karma Day
4/6 - Drowsy Driver Awareness Day, Teflon Day
4/7 - No Housework Day, World Health Day
4/10 - ASPCA Day, National D.A.R.E. Day, National Sibling Day
4/11 - Barbershop Quartet Day, International "Louie Louie" Day
4/11 - 4/13 - Trivia Days
4/12 - Licorice Day, Walk on Your Wild Side Day,
4/13 - International Plant Appreciation Day, Thomas Jefferson Day
4/14 - Children with Alopecia Day (What?)
4/15 - Income Tax Day (Sigh)
4/16 - International Stress Awareness Day, National Wear Your Pajamas to Work Day
4/17 - Blah! Blah! Blah! Day, Ellis Island Family History Day, Ford Mustang Day, High Five Day
4/18 - 4/20 - Comic Book Days, YoYo Days
4/19 - Husband Appreciation Day, Oklahoma City Bombing Commemoration Day, Auctioneers Day, National Hanging Out Day, First Day of Passover, World Cow Chip Day
4/21 - Kindergarten Day, National Chocolate-Covered Cashews Day
4/22 - Chemists Celebrate the Earth Day, Earth Day, National Jelly Bean Day
4/25 - Arbor Day, Red Hat Society Day
4/26 - Richter Scale Day, World Tai chi & Qigong Day
4/27 - Rural Life Sunday/Soil Stewardship Sunday
4/28 - Cubicle Day, Bulldogs are Beautiful Day,
4/29 - National Hairball Awareness Day, Sense of Smell Day, National Teach Your Children to Save Day, National Dance Day
4/30 - Beltane, Hairstylists Appreciation Day, Walpurgis Night
Laugh at Work Week (1-7)
Testicular Cancer Awareness Week (1-7)
Hate Week (4-10) (Who comes up with this stuff?)
Alcohol-Free Weekend (4-6) (Why?)
National Week of the Ocean (6-12)
Explore Your Career Options (7-11)
National Networking Week (7-13)
National Crime Victims Rights Week (13-19)
National Library Week (13-19)
Week of the Young Child (13-19)
Young People's Poetry Week (14-20)
National Wildlife Week (19-27)
Coin Week (20-26)
Cowboy Poetry Week (20-26)
National Karaoke Week (20-26)
National Park Week (20-26)
National Window Safety Week (20-26)
Fish Fry Week (21-26)
Heritage Week (21-26)
TV Turn Off Week (21-27)
National Scoop the Poop Week (24-30)
National Dance Week (4/25-5/4)
National Volunteer Week (4/27-5/3)
Ho-kay, here we go.
April is:
Alcohol Awareness Month (Do you know where your Merlot is?)
Amateur Radio Month
Autism Awareness Month
Cancer Control Month
Celebrate Diversity Month
Emotional Overeating Awareness Month (Are you aware of the amount of chocolate you've been snorfing?)
Financial Literacy Month
Fresh Florida Tomatoes Month
Global Child Nutrition Month
Informed Women Month (Informed about what, they don't say)
Injury Prevention Month
International Twit Award Month (Nominate a worthy subject from your hometown today!)
IBS (Irritable Bowel Syndrome) Month
Jazz Appreciation Month
Month of the Young Child
Month of the Military Child
National Child Abuse Prevention Month
National Humor Month
National Kite Month
National Pecan Month
National Pet First Aid Awareness Month
National Poetry Month
National Sexual Assault Awareness Month
Physical Wellness Month
Prevent Lyme in Dogs Month
Prevention of Animal Cruelty Month
Soy Foods Month
Stress Awareness Month (You're a wigwam! You're a tipi! You're two tents!)
Southern Belles Month
Workplace Conflict Awareness Month (Are you aware of how much you hate the person in the cube right next to you?)
No, probably not.
D, since I know you're reading this, I'm switching my rubber band bracelet from one arm to the other...again. I didn't even make it through yesterday. I had to do the switcheroo no less than three times. Sheesh!
The bane of my work existence sent me an email with regards to something I was researching for her (long story, but the details add very little to this explanation).
The thing is
HER EMAIL WAS IN ALL CAPS, WHICH EVEN I KNOW IS REALLY RUDE, IF ONE FOLLOWS INTERNET RULES OF POLITE CONDUCT. ADD TO THE THAT, THE LAST SENTENCE OF HER EMAIL READ "PLEASE RESPOND TO THIS EMAIL."
As if I make a habit of not responding to emails.
I proceeded to respond in all caps. The sad thing is, as I am all worked up about these (rather minor) insults, it is possible that she has no clue that she irritates the hell out of me.
You see, I'm still torn between believing that she is woefully ignorant and idiotically helpless or that she is being passive aggressive (my husband's favorite explanation for her behaviors).
And how much does it help that I am being passive-aggressive right back? It doesn't help. But it sure makes me feel better.
And I will point out that at least I responded to her e-mail. That last sentence of hers really stuck in my craw. Childishly, I repeated it at the end of my e-mail. It worked (thankfully) because I gave her the information that I had and I had some additional questions. Hey, if she can demand that I respond to her e-mail, I can do the same.
Idiot.
And D, please try not to be to disappointed in me. :-) Maybe some day I'll stop whining and complaining.
In my new Shape magazine there is a brief, brief article about a new trend that is sweeping the nation.
Well, I assume it's sweeping the nation. An NBC news correspondent has joined in and written about it.
I have my doubts about how healthy it is, mentally speaking. And if I join in, I think it could royally backfire on me.
A Midwestern American church (Kansas City, MO) has taken up a challenge issued by their pastor. They are attempting to spend 21 consecutive days without issuing one complaint.
This new program is designed to remove a lot of the negativity from verbal interactions.
The following are targeted: complaining, gossiping, and criticizing.
The founders of this trend are quick to point out that there are differences between constructive criticism (as in - "Pardon me, waiter. There is a fly in my soup. Would you please get me a new, fly-free serving?") and complaining to complain (as in - "How dare you serve me a bowl of soup with a fly in it? Are you a moron or simply inept?")
In essentials, I agree with this idea in principle. I've mentioned before that I am dismayed by how negative I have become (and if you need proof, please see my last post in which I mourn the loss of my sense of humor with language that is foul and, to be honest, not in the least creative.)
I do wonder, though, if my negativity is just a step to get me to actually articulate when I am annoyed with something. There are many times (mainly with family members) that I have out and out lied to them about whether or not I was angry about something. Why...I don't know that I can explain it. It has to do with wanting to protect their feelings at a cost to my own honesty. I'm working on changing this, but when I express my disapproval it comes out all snarky and angry rather than constructive.
If I stop being snarky and angry, will I stop trying to articulate my true feelings?
Not if I push myself to be honest, I suppose.
So...do I join in (after my own fashion) this new game? I won't be buying a pretty purple bracelet. I think I can do well enough with a rubber band, if I feel I need the reminder of the goal. I think I could really use this at work. It is here that I have seen an increase in my anger and my frustration.
I can see how it would be healthier to face these issues head on and approach the people who have perturbed me. It'll be a challenge, though, because I avoid confrontation like the plague.
I could probably use a challenge.
I'll think about it. Twenty-one days. Ugh. What an uphill, character building battle!