6 posts tagged “family”
So...I received a call from my mother this morning. She managed to break her arm yesterday while she was out on her daily constitutional.
I've already sent off some flowers - to cheer her up. My question is...what else can I do? Any ideas of what might make her life easier while she's healing up? Any insights? I'm figuring in a weekend when I can go and visit (and maybe do a little cleaning for her, because she likes a clean house). I've never had a broken bone. The closest I came was when I dislocated my elbow when I was in third grade - and I had my family around to do things for me - not that I needed much doing for. I was only nine years old, for goodness sake!
So - anyone who has any experience with this...got any ideas?
Thanks!
Rose
I have a time-waster for you...if you are so inclined.
I feel the need to share this with the world (although...technically...it has already been shared on You Tube)
My cousin (by marriage, but who cares about the minutiae of my relations -affinal or consanguineal?) came out for a brief visit over her spring break. She came mainly to visit some friends who are attending university out here, but she did manage to have one dinner with us - me and Mr. Rpennefe. It is always a treat to see Maggie. She is so many wonderful things - smart, silly, funny, fun, good hearted, and beautiful. She and Ted really get into talking about their shared passion of the entertainment industry (movies, mainly, although she is also involved in theater, writing (for the stage and screen), filming, you name it).
It was during dinner that she admitted to doing what every self-respecting college student should do - finding unique and varied ways to procrastinate.
She (egged on by her roommate and other hallmates) filmed "A Dramatic Reading of Justin Timberlake's 'Sexyback'"
Really, how can something like this not be good?
Maggie had two things to say about this video.
First: she hopes that no one sues her. It's all fun and games until someone gets sued.
Second: of the video, she says "It's highly embarrassing, but I like to think that shame is for the weak."
Update: My brother called over the weekend. His MRI came back normal, and he has an EEG today. Even though we may never know what caused the seizure, we are hopeful that it won't ever happen again.
Things are working out at work as well. He can't drive, sure, but there is another man who just got out of rehab and isn't allowed to work without supervision. So, Dave will supervise and the other guy will drive.
Kudos to my sis and her husband, who are helping Dave make it to and from classes as well.
I need to give my brother a call tonight. I'm hoping that he'll have spoken with his doctor and will have some news of the "good" variety.
On Monday, my brother had a seizure.
He's never had one before, so we're all rather worried.
He was heading out to his car when his vision went all wonky and his skin started feeling numb and wrong. He woke up twenty or thirty minutes later, lying next to his car, his shoes had been kicked off, and he had bitten his lip really badly.
He shudders to think of what would have happened if he'd made it to the car and was on the road when he got hit with the seizure.
I shudder to think of what would have happened if the Minnesota weather had been colder and wetter than it was at the time. No one came by and found him in all that time he was lying there. What more would he have suffered from if it had been below zero temperatures?
Although there are a variety of things out there that can cause seizures - anything from low blood sugar to a brain tumor - finding the exact cause can be a challenge.
Right now, my brother is chafing under the restrictions in his life. He won't be able to drive a car for six months. As long as he does not suffer another seizure, he'll be cleared for the road once again. For a twenty-something year old, having revoked driving privledges for six months probably feels like an eternity.
Why this is what he's focused on, rather than the seizure itself is pretty understandable. He can't control either situation. Still, if I were in his shoes, I'd much rather be worrying about how I'm going to get to and from work and school rather than being overtly preoccupied with not knowing why the seizure happened, and maybe thinking the worst, thinking about the worst case senerio, that doctor finds that a brain tumor is the cause of the stupid, stinkin' seizure.
The only reassurance that we've gotten is from my dad's girlfriend. She's a nurse and knows a bit more about the human body than what the rest of us do. She's pointed out that seizures can happen in response to spinal issues (which my brother has), especially when there is a pinched nerve involved (also, a factor in my brother's spinal issues).
I know I'm worried, but hopeful. I hope that my parents are dealing with their fear about their son and that they're staying optomistic. As for my brother, I can't imagine what he's going through. He's so calm and even-tempered that I worry that he won't lean on anyone, even when he needs to.
Fingers crossed, though. We will all know more today.
What have I done?
Anyone who decides to read this, bear with me for just a while. I have written a short letter to my sister's husband, but it won't make sense unless I include some background information.
My sister has been married for six years now.
She met the man who became her husband when they were in college together. She introduced the family to him when I was about 18 years old.
I went to the same university as they did, and actually overlapped a year with them.
When I first met the BIL, he was a decent guy. I suppose he still is, but the years have changed him. Of all the men my sister dated, I liked him the best and I approved her choice. I still do, because I'm certain that he makes her happy - and vice versa.
However, the BIL has changed, as I said, and he has perfected his talent of finding someone's buttons and pushing said buttons. In most cases, nothing happens. Every now and then, he goes too far.
You will need to trust me when I say I am one of the most gentle people you will meet. I am kind and compassionate. I am even a little bit shy. I am not given to violence.
The BIL was able to push me so far that I tried to strangle him while he was driving a car.
Granted, he was only going 2 mph at the most, so we probably weren't in too much danger from a car crash.
I remember wanted to kill him - seriously do some damange to him. And that is a feeling I've never had before and hope to never have again.
This was five years ago.
Since that time, we have not spoken of this incident. I understand, though, that sometimes he will make reference to my insanity to my sister. It is never within my hearing.
That's pretty much the way the BIL and my sister deal with conflict. Someone gets angry? Walk away from each other, go to opposite ends of the house, get out of the house, whatever. When the angry party calms down, come back together and behave as though the incident never happened.
Sadly, that was the example we got from our parents, prior to their divorce.
I then fell in love with a man who is the complete opposite. Although the Husband claims to dislike conflict, he does nothing to avoid it. It was a real challenge to me, the first few years we were together, as far as arguing was concerned. I would try to turn tail and run, which would only make him angrier. I still avoid conflict, but with the husband, at least, we have found a way to communicate during our arguments. I no long run away, he has toned down his beligerent tone of voice. We're working through it.
I wouldn't change the was the Husband is for anything, and I am grateful that this was a new skill that I needed to learn.
You may be getting a picture of two men with different communication styles - especially as far as conflict is concerned.
The heart of the problem - and the reason why I have written this note to the BIL - is that the BIL pushed the Husband too far at my brother's wedding, back in October. What the Husband finds unforgiveable is that the BIL won't even talk with the Husband about the situation. All the Husband wants to say (or so he claims...once he gets going he finds it really hard to stop) is that the BIL pushes his buttons. However, since they are now in-laws the Husband wants to find a way to keep the peace.
We haven't seen the BIL since the wedding, and given his track record, I have no expectation of him suddenly wanting to talk about "the incident" with the Husband.
I support my Husband 100% on this one. The BIL isn't a bad guy, but he can be obnoxious. He has got to know that he gets on people's nerves. It isn't okay for him to pretend that he hasn't the faintest idea why someone has gotten angry with him when he has been pushing them, goading them to a reaction.
I'm sending him a card for his birthday - so it's pretty inappropriate of me to include this note, but I did very little to fight this urge.
****
BIL -
I was just looking at the wedding photos from my wedding. They reminded me of how wonderful that day was for me and how it had a perfect ending. Being able to sit down to dinner with you, my sister, my brother, and his fiancee was an unexpected joy.
Having said that, I feel the need to add (but this will probably be the last time that I do) I know that Ted was very angry with you at my brother's wedding. It cannot be a surprise to you that you have a gift for pushing people's buttons...Lord knows you've worked me up into a rabid frenzy more than once. I know, though, that you would prefer to act as though the events surrounding my husband's anger never happened.
You deserve to know - and my sister may have mentioned this to you - my husband won't pretend that you didn't piss him off.
Right now, he is waiting for you to be willing to talk with him about this situation. Until you decide that my sister's family is worth the pain of talking this over with my husband, there is going to be a breach.
It is ultimately your choice, and as I said, this is going to be one of the only times I mention it to you. All I can do is to ask you to talk with my husband so that we all have the chance to get together, to sit down to a meal, and to feel relaxed in each other's company. Until then, we will struggle to ignore the fact that you and my husband are not talking.
Thank you for considering this problem. Love, your sister-in-law.
****
I don't regret including that note in his birthday card. I regret not being stronger, tougher, and talking to him about this face-to-face.
Oh, I know, I know!
My brother and soon to sister-in-law - that's who!
So, there is going to be a wedding this weekend in picturesque Green Bay, Wisconsin (Go Packers!).
Shamefully, I am not at all ready for the wedding. That is to say, I have not yet gone out and purchased their wedding gift, to say nothing of wrapping it and decorating it with a cute little bow.
It's all good, though, 'cause I know what I will be getting them. The crazy kids asked for a martini set, and that's what they're going to get - along with some alcohol and a recipe book for various martinis. Very fun...I think (of course, I don't drink. Martinis do sound fun, right?)
And here is a picture of the happy couple. Isn't my brother a handsome lad? Even better, Amanda is terrific AND she keeps him in line. I guess it comes from growing up with three brothers!
Dude, I am so proud of Dave.
