5 posts tagged “humor”

My cousin often finds humorous things on the Internet and distributes them to her friends (and me).  I always get a good chuckle out of them.  Since I especially liked what she sent out today, I thought I would share it with you.

Now, before you read any further let me say the following:

I have no idea where these images originated.  Because they were forwarded to me, I'm sure that many of you have seen these before.  Oh, and of course, I'm not making any money off using these images.  Yadda, yadda, yadda.

Second, there are a couple of questionable images.  Nothing too racy, but this entry should be rated PG-13, I suppose.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

1. What’s your name spelled backwards?                                                

YRAMESOR - and I thought my name was unwieldy on a normal day!

2. Have you ever licked a 9 volt battery?                                                   

Um…no.  Why would anyone ask this question?

3. Last time you swam in a pool?                                                            

Uh…It’s been a while.  I was probably at a hotel, but I don’t know when, where, or why.

4. Type of music you dislike most?                                                          

It isn’t the music I dislike, it is the volume that it is played at.

5. Do you have cable?                                                                            

Yeah, it’s a major indulgence for me.  I don’t NEED it, but I sure do WANT it.

6. Ever made a prank phone call?                                                            

Not that I can remember.

7. Would you go bungee jumping or sky diving?                                        

Hell no!

8. Chips or popcorn?                                                                              

Chips

9. Have you ever smoked peanut shells?                                                

No, although I did watch a colleague of mine roll a “joint” of oak leaves and try to smoke those.  He’d forgotten his cigarettes, not that that’s an excuse, but it was pretty amusing.

10. Orange juice or apple?                                                                    

Apple

11. Have you ever won a trophy?                                                             

Yes.  I have a small collection of trophies I earned during my childhood bowling days.

12. Ever ordered from an infomercial?                                                      

No
                                           

13. Ever thrown up in public?                                                                  

How public is public?  I threw up in the bathroom at work once, but there was no one around to witness it.

14. Would you prefer being a millionaire or finding true love?                     

I’m going to have to go with “true love”…although having both would be great, too.

15. Where would you like to go right now?                                               

Back to bed.

16. Ever spin around in circles until you got so dizzy you fell?                  

But of course.  Is childhood ever complete without that?

17. What's the most comfortable thing you own?                                    

My pillow from childhood.  It’s more of a security blanket than a pillow now.

18. Have you ever stolen a sign from a street?                                        

No, but I know people who have.

19. What was the last thing you were thinking about?                             

Work

20. Is the moon out right now?                                                              

Dunno, it’s cloudy and daylight. 

21. What's one of your weird quirks that nobody really understands?        

My husband and I asked for, and received, new dishes as wedding presents.  These dishes have a black stripe down one side.  They are very chic.  Sadly, neither the husband nor the roommate understand why I have to have the dishes stacked in such a way that the stripes are all on the same side!  I get twitchy when the plates and bowls are stacked incorrectly.

22. Ever thought about why grass is green?                                            

No, at least not that I can remember.  And grass isn’t always green.  It just depends on how much rain has fallen lately.

23. Can you build a detailed sand castle?                                               

No, or rather, I suppose I could try, but my patience isn’t very long lasting.  I’d run out of patience before I ran out of details to add.

24. What's one of your favorite possessions?                                          

Uh, my cats?  Actually, they own me.

25. Do you like to sleep?                                                                       

Silly question…must I answer?

26. Is your bed comfortable?                                                                  

Meh, it’s alright.  Picture, if you will, how any bed can be made less comfortable by the presence of two cats who force me to use only the top quarter of the bed.  I am super stiff in the morning from sleeping in a fetal position.

27. What's the most awkward thing that happened to you in public?          

Usually any time I open my mouth and try to sound intelligent.

28. Who's the last person that freaked you out?                                       

A current house guest.  He thought it would be funny to hide in a closet and to jump out and surprise me.  

29. How come macaroni and cheese is so good?                                    

Because it isn’t at all healthy for you.

30. Is pink the new black?                                                                     

Who thinks about things like this?  

31. What thought made you cry last?                                                     

“I’m a horrible person, I’m selfish and shallow, why oh why do my friends not notice how horrible I am?”

As my husband said: forgive me now.

If you are somewhere where you can listen to something, go to this link.

It is...um...addicting.

Has anyone else realized how addicting things like this are? 

Hey, Arbed (yours is the first one I saw this morning), thanks for passing this along!

rosemary is sooo vain (what?  I am not!)
rosemary is celebrated and laid to rest a well (I don't know what this means, but okay...it sounds good.)
rosemary is simply the best (Thank you)
rosemary is almost back to super best (I'm working on it, it's an uphill battle)
rosemary is an erect perennial evergreen (Um, my first thought was "that's just dirty.")
rosemary is a stimulant and assists mental clarity (Oh, if only that were true in my life)
rosemary is for remembrance (Now, what did I come into this room for?)
rosemary is known to anyone who has eaten gourmet lamb dishes
rosemary is the solution (Yes, but what is the problem?)
rosemary is baptised (How do they KNOW that?)
rosemary is a native to the mediterranean (Nope, I grew up in exotic Wisconsin)
rosemary is burned it is said to rid space of negativity because of its cleansing vibrations (hmmm...)
rosemary is harder to come by and is usually alone (That's 'cause they broke the mold when they made me!)
rosemary is an ancient plant native to the sea cliffs of the mediterranean
rosemary is an herb in the mint family
rosemary is yet another christmas green ("yet another" sheesh, it makes me sound quite ordinary!)
rosemary is a stimulant of the circulatory system (You wouldn't want to bump into me in an alley late at night, I'm that frightening!)
rosemary is without a doubt my favorite (Shucks, you'll make me blush!)
rosemary is an effective remedy for digestive upsets and flatulence when taken with food (hehheh, flatulence)
rosemary is known to have been used for magic
rosemary is a medium (Nope, I'm afraid I've gained some weight, and now I'm a large.)
rosemary is a quaint housewife (That just sounds rude!)
rosemary is pregnant (Wait, what?)
rosemary is a fascinating (Why, thank you!)

I'm back from the weekend jaunt into picturesque Wisconsin for my brother's wedding.  I do want to write about it, but I also want to have pictures to go along with my commentary.  You all will just have to wait!  I plan to dump the photos onto the computer this evening sometime. 

 

For right now, though, I'm going to talk about the wee 'uns. 

My cats have gotten weird.

You heard it here first - as if they weren't quirky enough to begin with - they have progressed to being thoroughly warped.

 

 

 

I made the first pumpkin pie of the season for my husband a week or so ago.  The Dude (aka O) hung out in the kitchen with me as I was preparing it.  That's not so unusual.  O does his Dude impression pretty much everytime I bake something.  I'm not sure what draws him to the kitchen, but he seems to enjoy watching...napping...and watching some more.  Periodically he'll get in my way, but that's rare. 

This time, though, he decided it was a grand idea to check out the canned pumpkin.  In fact, he has decided that he loves pumpkin.  What's up with that?  Anyway, after hopping up onto the counter, multiple times, to find where I had hidden the pumpkin, O finally convinced me to use a spatula (aka rubber scrapper) to remove the last little bits left clinging to the sides of the can and to offer them to him.

The husband was worried that pumpkin wasn't good for the kitty digestion, but I have learned better.  It seems that pumpkin is good for both cats and dogs. It helps with various stomach symptoms including both diarrhea and constipation.  Isn't that something.  So, I'm off to the grocery store this evening and on my list is canned pumpkin.  Who am I to refuse my kitties anything?

 

 

Then, there's that tortie - Megan.  She loves to sleep on me.  Specifically, she loves to sleep on my outstretched legs.  She gets rather testy when I won't cooperate by sleeping in a corpse pose all night long.  I like to sleep all curled up in a fetal position.  Since Megan hasn't found a comfortable way (for her) to sleep on me when I'm curled up, she settles (loudly and unhappily) for snuggling up as close as she possibly can to me.  That's fine, and I don't mind it.  What I do mind is waking up in the middle of the night after trying to roll over, only to discover that somehow, some way that can only be explained by someone who has studied cat physics my seven pound cat has become more dense and now weights somewhere around 50 pounds.

I don't like it when Megan does her 50-pound cat impression.  It isn't funny!

 

Right now, Mike is the most normal one of the bunch, and considering how neurotic he is at times, that's not saying too much.

Even better news for all three of them is that it is time for the annual checkup at the vet's.  That'll be complete with a rabies booster.  The maddness ensues on Wednesday morning.

Husband, you who are about to die, I salute you.