6 posts tagged “work blues”

I am not trained in any branch of social work or mental health services.  I do, however, work for a mental health organization, and this organization specifically serves populations that have government health care (MediCal, specifically). 

Not having any training in social work and etc, it is very easy for me to judge people quite harshly (rather than leaping to a completely different conclusion like - "Maybe he/she suffers from Tourrettes").

I splurged today on a caffeinated beverage.  As I was in the convenience store around the corner from where I work, a woman came in and was muttering quite loudly "I'm gonna get those Jewish pigs at (name of my company).  I'm gonna get those Jewish pigs at (name of my company)."  Pause.  "I'm gonna get those Jewish pigs...."  And so on.

Now, I'm assuming that she is a client of ours.  That leads to a further assumption that she is suffering from some kind of mental illness - I suppose it can be anything from anger issues to schizophrenia.  What do I know?

What I do know is that I had a very visceral reaction to her comments.  Even knowing that she is probably suffering from some kind of mental illness, I couldn't help thinking "What a horrible woman.  What an ignorant, ugly-minded woman." 

It's odd, I even felt a great deal of pity (which I'm sure would not be appreciated) for everyone with Jewish roots - whether they're practicing or not. 

I know enough of European and American history to know that Jews have been popular scapegoats for centuries.  (Of course, they are not the only population that has been used in this manner...but that's not my point right now.)

I am living in the United States in the year 2008.  I know that, being human, we are all far from perfect.  We also all have our own opinions.  There are many people that I don't agree with.  There are many politicians and people in the public eye towards whom I enjoy a healthy dislike.  I am certainly prejudiced against these people. 

It's one thing to dislike an individual.

It's a completely different thing to hate an entire group.  And that prejudice is especially horrible when that hate is based on a tradition of fear and ignorance rather than actual knowledge of what the individuals who make up that group are like.

<climbs down off of soapbox>

No, probably not.

D, since I know you're reading this, I'm switching my rubber band bracelet from one arm to the other...again.  I didn't even make it through yesterday.  I had to do the switcheroo no less than three times.   Sheesh!

The bane of my work existence sent me an email with regards to something I was researching for her (long story, but the details add very little to this explanation). 

The thing is

HER EMAIL WAS IN ALL CAPS, WHICH EVEN I KNOW IS REALLY RUDE, IF ONE FOLLOWS INTERNET RULES OF POLITE CONDUCT.  ADD TO THE THAT, THE LAST SENTENCE OF HER EMAIL READ "PLEASE RESPOND TO THIS EMAIL."

As if I make a habit of not responding to emails.

I proceeded to respond in all caps.  The sad thing is, as I am all worked up about these (rather minor) insults, it is possible that she has no clue that she irritates the hell out of me.

You see, I'm still torn between believing that she is woefully ignorant and idiotically helpless or that she is being passive aggressive (my husband's favorite explanation for her behaviors).

And how much does it help that I am being passive-aggressive right back?  It doesn't help.  But it sure makes me feel better.

And I will point out that at least I responded to her e-mail.  That last sentence of hers really stuck in my craw.  Childishly, I repeated it at the end of my e-mail.  It worked (thankfully) because I gave her the information that I had and I had some additional questions.  Hey, if she can demand that I respond to her e-mail, I can do the same.

Idiot. 

And D, please try not to be to disappointed in me. :-)  Maybe some day I'll stop whining and complaining.

I've stolen the term "puppy" from one of my Vox peeps...I just can't remember who.  I like it and I'm using it in reference to the lamebrain receptionist here at work. 

Also, the title of this post is misleading, but I like it and it's staying the way that it is!

Where to begin?

A coworker of mine had to bring her dog into the vet this morning.  Because her vet is right around the corner from the office, she did what she'd done before - brought the dog into the office until it was time to bring her in for the appointment and then went home from there.

It's not exactly acceptable to have pets on the premises (building management doesn't like it), but she figures, no harm, no foul.

I don't particularly like this woman, as I think she is a little...well...angry at the world.  That is: her first reaction to most things, I think, is to be affronted and offended.  That intimidates me a little bit.

However, I don't actively dislike this woman.  If she wants to bring her dog into the office, I'll look the other way.  Perhaps not the best choice, but it's the one I made.

She left the office at 11.  When I came back from lunch - around 1 - I saw that I had a messge waiting for me.  I check my voicemail.  It's building management.  They've heard that there was a dog up here on the 7th floor.  (They even had the office number where the dog was located.)  They are very sorry but, unless the dog is here to help a person with some kind of disability, it has to go.

I'm a little annoyed by this message.  A part of me dislikes the building management on principle (up until recently they've ignored our complaints about heat/cold, leaks, etc). A part of me is irritated with my coworker because she is the one who caused me to get this phone call. 

I wonder how they found out.  Was it someone in our office who called down to building management to snitch? I can't imagine that one of my co-workers would...they can't handle calling down to request anything else from building management, how would they find the number to call down for this?  Was it one of the building management's maintenance men?  I don't remember seeing any of the maintenance men, but that doesn't mean much - I had my door closed for most of the morning because someone in the office down the way was playing techno music that I didn't feel like listening to. 

I shrug off the message because the dog is already gone.  No harm, no foul.

I get up to refill my water bottle, and as I pass the front reception desk, the puppy (the lamebrain receptionist) tells me that I should check my messages as soon as I can.

First of all...I'll check my damn messages when I damn well feel like it.

Second of all...I just checked my messages!  If she just left one for me (always the same  "rpennefe, I'm sorry to bother you, but....), couldn't she just tell me about it now that I'm right in front of her...if it's that important?

I mention that I've just checked my messages (short...brusque).

She mentions that the building management called.

Ah-ha! SHE'S the one who sicced building management on to me! 

She's always doing things like this!  I have gotten more calls from telemarketers (Yellow Pages), clients (I DON'T deal with clients!), and job applicants (THEY'RE SUPPOSED TO GO THROUGH OUR MAIN OFFICE!!!) than I ever wanted!

She does the same thing with the mail as well...everything that she can't be bothered to think through and get to the proper people comes to me.  Helpless, infantile idiot.

In a move that is quite rude, I turn my back on her, waving my hand in dismissal and say that I've already gotten that message.  One would have to have the sensitivity of a rock not to realize how impatient and rude I sound. 

I am torn between regret over losing my cool - I think of her as a mentally-challenged, pitiable schlump...who believes a little too much in Jesus, her Lord and Savior - and just plain old anger.  Does she not not realize that having a dog up here is NOT The End Of The World?  It certainly isn't something I'm going to have to rush to do something about.  Sure the building management wants us to see that it is removed from the property.  What are they going to do?  Kick us out?  Over a (now gone) dog?  There is nothing urgent about their request...especially since it is now a non-issue!

And how would she know it's a non-issue?  Well...she could ask the woman with the dog.  If she doesn't feel comfortable with confrontation (and she doesn't, which is why she tries to get me to do all of her dirty work), she could approach her boss who could then ask the woman with the dog.  Why me?  I have about as much power (but more brains and obviously more attitude (of the negative variety)) as she does.

Grrrr!

Stupid woman with the dog.

Stupid puppy.

I woke up on the wrong side of the bed again today.  Monday was bad.  Wednesday is bad.  I wonder what’s going on with me.

Actually, I can make several suggestions as to what bug crawled up my ass this morning.

1. I woke up with back pain.  This was probably caused by the fact that I rushed through my stretches after my workout last night.  On a scale of 1 to 10, the pain remains, for the most part, at a 1.5.  If I move in just the wrong way, though, it leaps to a 7.  Dammit, I’m too young to have back pain.  Besides, my husband is the one with back pain, not me.
2. I’m still brooding on the fact that I have a new boss. Sadly, it has taken almost 24 hours since I was given the news of who my boss would be to get myself worked up about a couple of things. 
1. My immediate thought yesterday was about how different his temperament is from my current, soon to be ex, boss’s is.  Old boss = laid back.  New boss = wound up.  Actually, Old boss may have said it best:  What Old boss lacks in efficiency, he makes up for in tact.  What New boss lacks in tact, he makes up for in efficiency.
2. Now I’ve talked myself into feeling angry that, although it was suggested (not promised) that I would be a part of the interview process, obviously I wasn’t.  I didn’t know that New boss was being considered for this position.  I have to work with the man.  Should I have had the chance to hear what he has to say about his desire to take this position?
3. We are planning a going away party for Old boss.  I am, naturally, one of the one’s in charge.  So far my assigned tasks have been simple.  I bought a going away greeting card for the team to sign.  I’ve been collecting money from people who wanted to donate for a nice going away gift.  Simple, right?  Well, the party is tomorrow, and we haven’t come to a consensus about what the money should be spent on, what kind of gift we ought to give Old boss.  The ball is now in my court, and I dread making the decision.  Someone suggested a gift card – like a Visa or an American Express prepaid card.  That way he can spend it on anything he likes.  It isn’t a bad idea…but it’s so impersonal.  The problem is that no one seems to know what more personal gift he’d like.  I Hate This.
4. I’ve been slacking off at work and can’t seem to get myself to get back into a responsible, hard working place.  I don’t think I’m even trying.  Every night I leave work and think “Okay…tomorrow.  I’m going to be a better employee tomorrow.  I’m going to make a list of things I need to do and I’m going to go through those items, one by one, and do them.”  I’ll grant you that I’ve only been at work for twenty minutes now (and I’m trying to work myself out of the is cranky mood I’m in) and I haven’t started that list.
5. I don’t want to be doing the things that should be on my list.  I don’t, I don’t, I don’t!  I’d rather be doing anything than planning the monthly birthday celebration for February (new sub-boss has just instigated this.  It now is my responsibility to plan for it.  Blech!).  I don’t want to help another sub-boss organize her files.  I’d love to sit in my office with the door closed and ignore all the cries for assistance from my coworkers (my default position is troubleshooter, supply closet gatekeeper, and general paperwork guru).  I want my coworkers to try to solve issues themselves before they call me in.  I don’t want to hear from a new coworker about how at her old job the forms they used were so much better (if you don’t like how we do things, go back to your old job.  Seriously, I don’t need to hear about it).  I don’t want to be called into help another coworker with the stupid time clock issues.  You have worked here longer than I have!  You have the access to the program that you need!  The process does not change!  Stop acting so helpless!  I certainly don’t want to deal with our office idiot who, because she practically needs permission to breathe, won’t make any decisions on her own.

I didn’t think I hated my job.  I don’t think I hate my job.  But there is something really wrong with me because I’ve been in a foul mood a lot lately, and I’ve felt a great deal of anger towards my coworkers.

I used to be a nice person.  I used to be really good at rolling with the punches.  I used to be really good at being cheerful. 

What the hell happened?

I'm not freaking out yet...but that may come soon enough!  OH NOES!!!!!!!!!

My boss is leaving.  Technically, he's retiring, but since he's too young to really retire he'll be taking a couple months off before he looks for a new position somewhere else.  (His ultimate goal is to get a job that uses his mental health credentials, but doesn't require him to work crazy hours.  He wants to spend time with his kids while they're still willing to be seen with him - they aren't teenagers yet.)

Now, I've known about this for almost a month now.  That's fine.  I understand his reasons and I applaude them.  Good for him for putting his family first.

I am sorry to see him go because he was a terrific boss.  He was laid back, easy going, rarely ruffled.  He let me do my thing since I've proven that I can be trusted to go without constant supervision.  Work was, if not relaxing at least not something to dread.

So - good boss = gone.

I just got word moments ago about his replacement; it is an inhouse hiring, so I know this man and have worked with him slightly in the past.

OH NOES!!!!!!!!!

I have to preface my complaints below with  - New Boss is a good guy.  His heart is definitely in the right place and he is dedicated to providing good services to the community (we are a community mental health center, btw).  He is a good candidate for this position.  More than that, his energy is completely different from Old Boss.  He's a lot more forceful and this will hopefully help spur the therapists to providing even better services to our clients.

That being said: OH NOES!!!!!!!!!!

His energy is completely different and that's what worries me.  I will be his administrative assistant, so I will be working closely with him.  Basically, I will be at his beck and call.  Unlike Old Boss, I expect those becks and calls to come quite frequently with a level of urgency that I have not yet experienced here.

New Boss is tightly wound.  His mind races a mile a minute.  When he wants something, he wants it NOW!!!  New Boss might need a valium.

That's not to say he isn't a nice man...just much more demanding than Old Boss.

OH NOES!!!!!

I can see that I won't be able to be as lazy as I have been lately.  Sigh.  No more surfing of the interwebs.  I'll actually have a larger workload (I'm guessing) to fill my time.

That's good for the company, I know.  I just...liked being lazy.

I've got white paint on my hands.

And on my shoes.

And I'm pretty sure I inhaled some nasty fumes from the blankety-blank spray paint.

I just spend a half hour of my life (which I will never get back) dealing with some Stupid Pansy-A** Punk's graffiti.

I work for a nonprofit mental health center.  The division I work for deals mainly with kids (although some family therapy is done).  Periodically there has been a problem with graffiti in the public restrooms.  I've never had to deal with it before, so I'm allowed one temper tantrum on the subject before I get over it.

My boss, who generally takes care of the graffiti complaints (I don't know why...maybe because no one else can be trusted to keep the spray paint locked away), is retiring.  Actually (and I can't blame him) although his last day is at the end of the month, he's pretty much checked out of all of the worries this place produces.

The lamebrain (and I'm being kind) receptionist that we have (she bothers me...I have my reasons) came to me this afternoon to tell me the following:

1.  She's left messages for my boss about the graffiti in the bathroom.

2.  It's been there for a couple of days now.

3.  The building maintenance men just came to her and let her know that we will be charged for the graffiti (since we're the ones renting this floor, we have sole control over who gets to use the restroom).

4.  She lied to them and told them we just noticed it today.

The fact that she's left messages (plural) for my boss blows my mind.  If he didn't deal with it right away (like he usually does), then wouldn't you think she could talk to someone else about it?  One of the program directors, maybe?  Me, maybe?  C'mon...use the g*dd*mn brains that you were born with.  Are you completely witless?

And lying to the building mangement?  C'mon!  That's childish.  Her excuse is that she fears that we will be charged per day for the graffiti.

I know that we're not made of money, but seriously, lying is always a bad idea.  Maybe if we have to pay a fee for the stinkin' graffiti we might be more vigilant about dealing with it as soon as it appears.

So, since my boss is actually gone for the day, I raided his stash of spray paint.  Of course I scrubbed first, and when that had little effect I moved on to the spray paint.  It's not a gorgeous job, but at least the graffiti is no longer showing.

I'm still cranky, though.

Stupid Punks...thinkin' you're cool with your gang signs.  You all are twits and I hope that you never procreate because you'll just be adding morons and chumps to the gene pool.

And that's what I have to say about that.